Dad I Wish You Would Stop Smoking

Question:
Dear Dr. Andrews,
I am a 13 year old, and I have a younger brother and a younger sister. My dad, when his is home from work, spends most of his time on the patio smoking. My mother and my sister are allergic to smoking. The rest of the family does not like the smell of cigarettes either. I am very sad that my dad smokes.He reads your column, so I would like him to know the reasons why I wish for him to stop smoking.
1. Dad, sometimes I feel you prefer smoking over spending time with your own family.
2. I wish you would spend time not smoking but with all of us.
3. I worry about your health. You are always tired, out of breath and look older than you really are. I'm afraid you may die from heart trouble or lung cancer and I cry when I think this can happen to you.
4. Your smoking causes you and Mom to argue, and we all are very unhappy when the two of you don't get along. We want to live in a happy family.
5. Cigarettes cost money, and you work hard at your job. Even then, we cannot afford many extras. I feel as though you are taking away from yourself and from all of us.
Dad, you are a good person, and I think if you decide to quit smoking and you ask God for help, he will give it to you.
Dad, I hope you will read these reasons and think about what I've said to you.
Love,
Your Daughter

Answer:
Your letter to your father was beautiful. I could feel your caring and the deep concern you have for him. I encourage you to tell your father that you love him and care about him, as you've said in your letter. Please avoid nagging, or threatening, they will not help him to make a decision to stop smoking.I want to that you for writing to me.You speak for many children, who have the same wish for a loved one as you do for your dad. I have included in this column some facts about smoking, based on information published by the American Cancer Society, that could be helpful to your father.
If you are thinking of quitting smoking here are some things to consider:
1. It's not as hard as you think to remove this addiction from your life.
2. Don't look at it as if you are giving up something. This makes it seem too muchlike a loss. What you are really doing is tossing something out of your life thathas done you harm and doesn't belong here anymore.
3. Set a date. Make a commitment. Give it a try. Remember, it is alright if you don'tsucceed at first. Just keep trying. The only way you can lose is by ceasing to try.
4. Always keep a positive attitude. After all, this is one of the most positive things you've ever done. Stay away from negative people and worrisome situations.
5. Quit for yourself. Even though your family and loved ones will benefit tremendously from your quitting, it is you that will benefit the most. Have at lease two reasons that you want to stop smoking.
6. Treat giving up smoking with the respect it rightly deserves. Become willing to go to any lengths to remove it from your life. If you are not willing, try praying for the willingness. This usually works.
7. Consider getting some support from a professional who understands nicotine addiction.
8. Clinical Hypnosis, and E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique) are most effective treatments to help you stop the smoking habit, because they focus on the psychological and the physiological factors of the addiction as well.
9. Remember, desire to be a Nonsmoker is the key to your Success.

Dr. Eugenia Andrews